my name + a new song

i thought it would be good to discuss the name of my blog a little bit. it is my hope that the title is pretty clear in meaning, but just in case it's not, and just because i can, i'd like to expound on it.

confessions of chronic humanity.


yes ... i am chronically human. irreversibly depraved. undeniably broken. i go through life just like pig-pen from charlie brown ... it's like there is a cloud of dirt around me wherever i go. i muck things up. i track mud all over the house. and i probably smell too.

but the beauty of all this is that if i were not chronically human, then i wouldn't be able to experience the grace of God. hence the sub-title, a quote from paul reflecting on his former life compared to that of the other apostles: "by the grace of God, i am what i am ... as one untimely born, last and least of all the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle..."

by the grace of God -- by the gift of God -- i am unfit. completely and totally unfit. chronically human, so as to reveal the mighty power of the saving grace of God.


sadly, it's something i need to be reminded of time and again. that i don't have it all together, and i probably never will. that i still need Jesus every moment of every day. that there's nothing i can add or subtract to the wisdom of God, that there's no plan i can make that is greater than His, that there is nothing in this world that i can seek other than Him that will satisfy. that He is the very best in my life. that apart from Him, i am nothing ... i am human. flesh and bone ... ashes and dirt.

so until that glorious day, when Jesus returns to wipe the tears from all of our faces, to redeem the world and its people from futility ... i must confess that i am chronically human.


... aaaand here's a song about all that :D [it will be posted up on purevolume sometime soon ... also on xanga.]

is there something i can do
are there words that i can say
that would uncover something new
that would discover another way?

cuz i keep running and running and running
i think i've been here three times
but i'm afraid that if i quit, the world will see
and wouldn't that be a crime ...

i've been planning this for so long
and i like the plans i've made
cuz the world has got my back
yeah, the world that's gonna fade ... away

cuz i keep running and running and running
from the shelter of Your hands
cuz if i listen to Your voice, i might obey
and then what of my plans?

how could i forget
that i need You
that i haven't arrived yet

how could i not know
that if i seek You
all the rest will follow

how could i have thought
that i knew best
in all that i sought

cuz You are the best
when all i see is my mess
You know the rest

and all the nations of the world
yeah, they seek so eagerly
but You promise me You know
my every single need

and i keep running and running and running
like i'm gonna die
cuz i can't see the end, and it scares me
that You're making me cry

how could i forget
that i need You
that i haven't arrived yet

how could i not know
that if i seek You
all the rest will follow

how could i have thought
that i knew best
in all that i sought

cuz You are the best
when all i see is my mess
You know the rest

maybe it's not about what i think
what i say, and who cares
maybe it's not about where i am
but how i got there

how could i forget
that i need You
that i haven't arrived yet

how could i not know
that if i seek You
all the rest will follow

how could i have thought
that i knew best
in all that i sought

cuz You are the best
when all i see is my mess
You know the rest


:)