deluded

today, i pondered the 38th street hooter's palm trees. how much money is spent (read: wasted) in lighting those trees? who decided that the flashing lighted palm trees would be a good marketing idea? and are we really so deluded that we would just eat right out of that idiot's hand?

"ooo ... those are cool ..."

yeah, or not.



but i went to walmart last night. and i bought headbands and ice cream. necessary? no. a shiny distraction to delude me that my life is good? probably much closer to the truth.


i'm quickly deluded into that kind of thinking, though. i miss out on the things that are truly good because i get distracted by things that look good. but today, i'm hungry for something that will truly satisfy. i'm longing for something that is truly good.

"this too is vanity and striving after the wind ... one hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind." -- king solomon.

on my nasal health

ok, so if you know me pretty well, you have probably heard me talk rather frequently about my nasal health (or lack thereof). throughout my life, i have been plagued by nasal issues. not only do i experience allergic reactions to most things indoors and outdoors, causing an excess of clear, runny snot to project from my nose, but i also have very small nostrils and very small nasal passages. this causes lots of problems, including but not limited to: snoring, sleeping with my mouth open, not being able to breathe through my nose most of the time or for extended periods of time, frequent nose-blowing, frequent sniffling, and sometimes a nasal-y sounding voice. oh, and sinus headaches.

into this picture of my nasal life, enter my friend megan. megan is wonderful ... she is neat and orderly, proper, mannerly, polite, and clean. and she likes it when the people around her are somewhat similar in nature. well, my sniveling, snotty mess of sinus area doesn't really rub her the right way. it's not a bad thing -- my constant sniffles just bug her (more than some other poeple). so she got me this present for graduation:


yes, believe your eyes. it's a nasal flush pot. you mix up some salt with some lukewarm water, stick the spout up one nostril, breathe through your mouth, tilt your head sideways, and let the water run up one side, through the sinuses, and out the other nostril. it's quite the contraption.

now i cannot lie ... while i was intrigued and impressed by this gift (that i got last may), i have been PETRIFIED of it. i mean, i'm having visions of that brain burn you get when the pool water goes up your nose. not fun. and not worth whatever supposed good effects it might bring. so i haven't touched it. i hadn't even taken it out of the box.

until three days ago.


because three days ago, my other good friend shannon held my hand (well, not literally) through the whole thing.

and it was amazing. AND it was not painful.


i'm hooked. and i can breathe through my nose!!!!!! for the first time ever!!! it's AMAZING. i'm on day three now.


so you should try it. for real.

Your renown -- shaun groves

On this journey home
I will walk Your road
I will not turn 'round
For another

Make my pathway straight
Into heaven's gates
I will not turn 'round
For another

Lord, it's Your renown
Your eternal fame
That I live for now
It's Your name
It's Your name
For Your name

In my heart I'm sure
I'm completely Yours
I will not bow down
For another

Trade my selfishness
For Your holiness
I will not bow down
For another

Lord, it's Your renown
Your eternal fame
That I live for now
It's Your name
It's Your name
For Your name

When my sun goes down
And the dark surrounds
I will not cry out
For another

Lord, it's Your renown
Your eternal fame
That I live for now
It's Your name
It's Your name
For Your name

More of You
Less of me ...

more than words

this post is only titled that because i was trying to think of a title, and that song happened to start playing on my itunes as i sat here. so for what that's worth ;)


but it's apt all the same.


ok, so i look around at my life, and the way i spend my time, and something is off. sometimes i feel like i don't have much control over how my time is spent, but what is happening in actuality is that i just really don't pay much attention to where my time goes. i let it slip away. and i don't like that.

but then i think about how i would like to spend my time, and sometimes i don't know what i would do with free reign. i think i would do a lot of things that i don't do now. in fact, i think i'd like to make a list:

if i could empty my schedule for the next six months, i would:

• write at least one song a week.
• go for a solitary walk in un-civilized terrain 5 days a week.
• have one day a week of solitary time with Jesus (no other people at all for the whole day).
• spend at least 2 hours in uninterrupted prayer every day.
• have a significant conversation with an old friend once a week.
• go through all my possessions (ALL) and sell/trash 75% of them.
• read at least half the bible.
• finish the tee-shirt quilt i started about 8 years ago ....
• not do my hair.
• not wear makeup (not even mascara).
• learn how to play mandolin.
• climb a mountain. maybe in colorado.
• not make a single commitment or promise to anyone. and not let anyone down.
• make no plans for the future.
• read lots of different things.
  
• not watch a lick of TV.
  

i thought i wanted to live a full life. but i don't want a full life that consists of nothing more than a full schedule. i want to live a full life, one that is BIG, with broad horizons and variated landscapes. i want a simple life with a simple schedule that allows for a fuller experience than a full schedule ever could. i want to be able to let my life happen without feeling like it's happening without me, like it's dragging me along. i want to enjoy every moment, every blessing, every breath as the gracious gift that it is. no strings attached.

and i don't want to waste my life.

oh Lord, lead me.