would my faith last that long? what would be revealed about the condition of my heart if the promise's delivery were prolonged for forty years? i can hardly last three months ... nevermind forty years.
"...the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart..."
for a long time i thought that character was built on the most difficult days. surely it was in the midst of the hottest fire and the greatest pressure that my gold was refined and my diamond was formed.
but did you know that even if great pressure is exerted onto carbon molecules, it doesn't necessarily mean it will form into a diamond? and even if diamond crystals do form, the conditions have to remain perfect and stable for thousands of years in order to produce a diamond. AND when the diamond is formed, it looks nothing like what you think of when you think of a diamond. it actually looks kind of like a translucent shiny rock. sometimes they are lumpy or dirty.
all that is to say that i don't think it's the moments of greatest trial that produce good character. i believe that the moments of greatest trial reveal the character that has already been built in the every day, in the mundane.
because if i can't trust the Lord with my plans for next week, i'm sure as heck not going to trust him with my life in a year, or five years. if i don't want to apply the Word of God to my interactions with my close friends, i certainly won't do it when i encounter the surliest of strangers.
i really hope that i understand the gravity of the every day. it's how i order and live my life every day that prepares me for the catastrophic moments that are sure to come. and when they come, they will rip open my heart and reveal what is truly inside for the whole world to see.
will it be black and bitter? stubborn and hard as a rock? crusty and despairing?
or will it be living and lovely? will it be soft with surrender? will it be full of faith and compassion and hope?
it's not going to rain every day. but i don't throw away my umbrella just because it's sunny today.