live well right now

i recently heard about a friend of a friend who has unexpectedly had to deal with infidelity in a marriage. i suppose infidelity is never really expected, though. people don't usually enter into marriage with an expectation of being cheated on. most people probably think that loyalty is one of the main points of marriage in the first place.

the way it happened was pretty usual: there was opportunity, which is just a little bit nicer way of saying there was temptation. and instead of resisting and fleeing temptation, this person let it linger. like dangling a carrot in front of your own face, it just sat out there for a little while as an possibility. then there was some 'innocent' communication -- you know, over technology, not face-to-face, so it seemed less formal ... and less real. and then the invitation, and finally the indulgence. mix well, bake at 375* for thirty minutes, and voila: one incredibly broken family.

we are all sinners. denial of that fact only sets us up for failure. but so often we think that our circumstances will reform us: i'll be faithful when i'm married. i won't be addicted to sex or p-rn when i'm married. i'll stop cutting or starving myself when my boyfriend proposes. i'll keep a cleaner house and a cleaner mouth after i have children. i'll live a more spirit-filled life once i go away to seminary. i'll give up alcohol and cigarettes once this stressful season of life has passed.

it's all a lie. circumstances will not reform us. we are still sinners. we are sinners who get married, who go to seminary, who raise children, who minister in the church, who witness in the community with our words and our lives. and none of those situations will flip a switch to reform us of our sinful behaviors. in fact, each of those situations will probably expose us as the sinners we are. we will find ourselves tempted and we will find it all too easy to succumb to sin.

we don't need different circumstances. we need a savior.

"Lord, You establish peace for us. All that we have accomplished, You have done for us."
--isaiah twenty-six : twelve--



we cannot bring deliverance to the earth, and we cannot bring deliverance to ourselves. for all our efforts, for all our writhing and suffering under the pains of labor, all we could give birth to was wind. there is nothing of substance to be found in us ourselves. (read the rest of isaiah 26)  but there is someone who can accomplish it all for us.


which is why we can't trust our circumstances, as they change, to change us to make us better. our bad habits and sinful tendencies will remain. but what we can do is begin relying on the sufficiency of the strength and grace of Christ to sustain us completely even now, in our present circumstances, and watch as a supernatural change begins to occur. if we live well, relying on Christ, right now, then no devastating change in circumstances could ever destroy us.

if i can't worship God and live faithfully in obedience to Him right exactly where i am today, then it doesn't matter that i can do it elsewhere.

be here now, and live it well.

all i have is christ

we're singing this song at church on sunday. i'm pretty doggone excited about it.
All I Have Is Christ from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.



i try to pick songs from scripture and songs that are drenched with the gospel. but i also try to pick songs they they can learn quickly and sing easily as one congregation. when it comes to the chorus of this one, i hope it get stuck in their heads for a few days ... i know it's been in mine :D

mind over matter? not usually my strength.

don't go to the grocery when you haven't yet eaten lunch.


not only will you spend more money than you planned,

but you will also buy things you don't need. like doughnuts. (funny, i resisted the first display, but the second display on the other side of the store, by the milk, caught me unprepared. and on sale, too.)



maybe i should've prayed for an extra measure of self-control of the Holy Spirit before i went in to kroger.

now let me at the truth which will refresh my broken mind.

mumford & sons, from the album "sigh no more."

  i've fallen in love with this album. i call it "the avett brothers meets quick said the bird." but this likening only works if you know both of those groups... and since one of them is my small (but mighty) collaborative musical effort, it might be rather unlikely that you know us. enough of that, though ... on to the lyrics:

the cave [listen here]

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

i tried (and failed) to give blood today.

for the second time, no less.

the first time was in college, and it had been less than a year since getting tatted up. (yes, rachel bell has a tattoo. shocking. before you throw stones--or give me a rousing cheer of "bad---!"--i should tell you that it's the holiest tattoo that has ever existed. not only is it the words of JESUS, from the BIBLE, but i got it with my bible study leader while we were meeting for discipleship. before or since, there's never been as much sanctification happening in a tattoo chair than there was that day.)


but today, with all things go, my hemoglobin was too low. it needed to be 12.1, and it was 11.5. i even let them stick me twice to make sure. and even though i had been really nervous about it, in the end, i was just bummed. as i sat and waited for my friend to finish giving her ever-so-acceptable blood, i tried to figure out why i was so bummed.

i was there in the first place because i wanted to be some small part of giving someone life. this blood is a mysterious thing. it carries oxygen and nutrients and platelets and things i don't even remotely understand to keep all bodily systems running. it pumps and flows and rushes. it circulates. it replenishes itself, and adapts to heal wounds big and small.  it never stops.

unless it does. unless there's a breach, and it bleeds out. and then it's lethal. if the wound is too great, the body can't restore itself, even after the wound is covered.

and the life-giving blood of another is required to rescue it.

i wanted it to be my blood, to have my life be the sustenance for another's. i was there in the first place because i wanted to be some small part of giving someone life. 



i guess it's a good thing i can do that--on an eternal scale--without ever giving my blood. because the wound is too great, the breach is gaping, and our only hope for rescue is in the freely-given blood of Another. i hold the gospel salve in my hands. only, Jesus, teach me how to get it to them.

unless the seed is sown

the flower in it never opens.

Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there my My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him."  --john 12:23-26--

especially true for the hard-headed among us (read: especially true for me)

experience: that most brutal of teachers. but you do learn.

--c. s. lewis--

procter

i knew they would get me. they are in kenya this week. two years ago, they got me while in uganda. but this time i was ready. ready to sponsor again, that is. even as one blogger said this week, "how can i ask people to give until it hurts if i'm not giving until it hurts?" more aptly for me, how can i ask people to see the worth of the glory of God if it costs me nothing to proclaim it? i cannot tell you how much i love compassion international. i have the utmost respect for their mission and their methods, and i am filled with JOY at their stories of the Kingdom coming even now. i love compassion international. releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name. and releasing rachel bell from wealth in Jesus' name.

this is my joy, my very delight, and his name is procter. look at that face!!! such concentration. i love him already.

 

Procter Memba
Birthday:	June 15, 2003
Age:	6
Gender:	Male
Region:	Africa
Country:	Kenya
Program:	Musembe Child Development Center

Personal and Family Information:
Procter lives with his father and his mother. He is responsible for running errands. His father is sometimes employed as a farmer and his mother is sometimes employed as a farmer. There are 6 children in the family.

Playing ball games and playing group games are Procter's favorite activities. In primary school his performance is average and he also regularly attends church activities.

Because of your sponsorship, Procter will have new opportunities to learn and grow physically, mentally, and spiritually. Thank you for your concern and prayers.

procter, i can't wait to introduce you to jacquline!



find your joy, your very delight. the call of God is on you to love His children. obey Him until it hurts, and the world will begin to see that He is worthy of our everything. 

(the link will take you to the search page for a child to sponsor. i would encourage you to search by "longest waiting." you will see the children who have been waiting more than 6 months for a sponsor, like procter was. i'm sorry, little man, that it took me so long.)

simple, not easy.

from the end of the earth i call to you when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than i.

--psalm 61:2--

simple, if i am not too proud. not easy, if i am. 

election and evangelism

the lack of a biblical view of election can destroy a believer's ability to practice effective evangelism. such a believer is convinced that it is his job to do the actual saving, and he despairs when he realizes how much of a stumbling block the gospel can be to those who are currently perishing. if such a believer is convinced of the extreme weight that his specific words and actions carry while speaking with unbelievers, his conviction to speak the truth boldly will wither for the fear of inciting a negative reaction.

what freedom comes for evangelism when understood in light of election! praise be to God that it is not my responsibility, and even less is it my ability, to complete the work of salvation! all i may do (and it is no small task) is to preach faithfully the good news of Christ's great work for a sinner's great need. all i may do is to live a life worthy of the gospel by which i have been saved. this will mean that i do not, by my overzealous judgment or inconsistent behavior, put an unnecessary stumbling block in the path of the perishing around me, but neither do i refrain from giving them the whole, undiluted, bone-crushing truth of the gospel.